Becoming a Model… Citizen.

Uncomfortable Yet Necessary Life Lessons: Becoming a Model Citizen

Last week, Kelly, a 13 year old, showed up to class with a bag of what she thought was over the top clothing: her dad’s jacket, a baseball hat and other items that were far from something extreme (the assignment was to bring in over-the-top items to wear). The other models had brought in shiny hot pink leotards, purple gloves, a studded collar, a fabulous black and green cape -I hope you get what I’m talking about when I asked for extreme and over the top clothing – items that they would feel a little self-conscious wearing. I shuffled through their belongings to find wonderfully bright, outrageous outfits; including a bright neon yellow dancer’s tank top. Aha! I found the perfect item for Kelly! I handed it to her with excitement and asked her to go change in the bathroom, putting the top on minus any undergarments, which weren’t necessary with this type of shirt.

On a modeling job and in life we are often asked, sometimes not so politely, to wear things or do things in order to make the shot, create the image, and get the job! Politely, we comply. As a model, I have had to wear garments that were sheer, low cut, revealing, tight, and items that otherwise didn’t fit. Sometimes, being a model can be tough.

In this particular class, the job is “Over the Top Fashion.” It has nothing to do with body or image, just fashion. No bra size, no chest size, no body issues; but what happened before me was unexpected, and propelled me to this huge issue of BODY discomfort. As a woman, as a model, a teacher of thousands of women, and a woman who lives in recovery from eating/body disorder; I stood with this great 13 year old girl who began to unravel before my eyes at the sight of her own body.

Why is this relevant to Model Citizen Life?

This was a session that we have had before, parents were there, and nothing was different. In the world of modeling, and even in life we are asked, or prompted to wear bathing suits (the beach), strapless dresses (a friend’s wedding), sheers (some shirts from “forever 21″), and sometimes we are even asked to oddly reveal… For me, this has never been an option, but to each her/his own. “To thine own self be true.” I teach the students to never ever reveal; we laugh and call revealing shots the “crotchie.” I have created a safe space to talk effectively about what the industry sees and keeps as standard.

(Side note: I don’t see how a crotch shot is necessary. I know you know what I’m talking about – this is a personal BUG of mine! Is it necessary? NO! Come on. On a set we take at least 100 shots, at least… of those 100 there must be ONE that could be used which doesn’t expose or exploit the model. I mean, really!)

Back to class and Kelly:

She stood before me with tears welling in her eyes as I asked her to change. “No” she said. “I don’t want to take off my undershirt.”

Mind you, this is a dancer’s shirt no undershirt necessary.

I responded with, “Kelly it’s no big deal – we are all girls here, except for Chuck who won’t even notice.”

“No” she said.

I continued, “In this industry (and in life) you will be asked to either wear less, or you will be asked to wear a designer’s clothing that you may not even like. If you told me, “no” and I had hired you for this job, you would actually be walking out the door right now and I would be on the phone with your agent, giving them the report that I never wanted to work with you again because you are difficult. In this industry you do not want to be difficult. It leads to a big mess and you will be out of the industry in no time.”

She stood up, shirt in hand, “Fine.”

I followed her to the bathroom and knocked on the door, which she opened.

“I hate it.”

What? I thought, then said, “Kelly you look great! That color looks great on you! It makes your skin shine!”

“I hate the way I look!”

“What do you hate? Please tell me.”

“I hate them.”

My eyes must have crossed! What? “What do you hate?”

She pointed at her chest. “I hate them, I can’t stand them.”

Whoa! Here is the moment in which I personally grew. I took a breath, paused and thought, then responded. “Kelly you look great! This is just a stage, and your little chest fits you perfectly. Tell me honestly, why do you hate them?”

Here came the perfect Model Citizen answer. “They’re just there, people look at them. They are small and ugly.”

With all the determination in the world, I held back my own tears in this moment as I remembered being 13. I remembered being awkward, uncomfortable, and being asked to be more. I remembered my 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Cline, telling me to stand up tall be proud of my body, that it was the only body that I would ever be given, and no one else would ever have a body like mine. It was so hard to hear her, hard to take her words. I stood with Kelly, and said, “Thank you Kelly, you are on your way to becoming a model citizen.”

She shook her head with confusion, “For what?” she snapped.

“For being honest. For being true to yourself, and expressing your thoughts. You can do anything in this world with honesty.” Suddenly she changed, her smile was on, and her attitude of defeat disappeared, all in seconds.

I looked at her squarely, “Now let’s get out there and do this shoot – you are more than a model.” She smiled, and we did a high five! She opened the door walked out, with her head held up and did it. She did the shot with a smile, and it was real.

This uncomfortable moment led me to nurture Kelly, and remember my own experience and to stand there with her to BE REAL, to be a friend, and to be someone who understands.

Self-talk (laughing or abusing oneself) is dangerous and harmful. Today I share with kids the importance and the profundity of finding their uniqueness – this is what has changed kids’ lives. This is becoming a Model Citizen.

Life lessons come in the strangest and most unexpected moments. More Than a Model offers kids, tweens and teens opportunities to grow, not only as models, but as people who want to experience and enjoy life’s challenges by being More. They are More.

More to come!

lane

Answers.

What are you looking for in Life?

Are you looking for information on the modeling, fashion, media, or entertainment industry, while also looking for a better life, healthy choices and Green Options that are simple and manageable ? If so you have finally found ME, Lane Kennedy!

Welcome to answers, insight and more!

Coaching and Consulting for You and SUPER STAR Kids!